Healing from Trauma as an Adult: Juggling Life, Responsibilities, and Healing You

Let’s be real for a moment; being an adult is hard. It’s like juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope over a pit of hot lava. Add trauma to that, and it’s basically like trying to do all that with one hand tied behind your back! Yet healing from trauma is possible, even when you’re overwhelmed with work, bills, relationships, and whatever else you have going on.

So, how do you navigate the chaos of being a grown-up while also taking the time to heal from trauma in therapy? It will be less about your focus being on looking down at the lava pit and instead centering an inner focus on you. These are a few key concepts that support the adults I work with who engage in trauma work while juggling their many responsibilities. 

The Art of Self-Care: It’s Not Just Face Masks and Bubble Baths

While doing trauma work, your self-care focus needs to be top notch. Let’s get one thing straight. Self-care is more than just lighting a candle and putting cucumbers over your eyelids (though if that works for you, I’m not here to judge). Healing from trauma as an adult means re-learning how to care for yourself while working on your deepest vulnerabilities.  It’s about caring for yourself not just when it’s convenient, but consistently.

Think about it in this way. If you had a little one, let’s say a tiny version of you, all adorable and precious, how would you treat them? You’d probably make sure they eat regularly, get plenty of sleep, and offer them unconditional love. You’d show up filled with kindness, patience, and understanding often. Well, news flash, you are that little one! Inside of you, there’s a younger version of yourself needing to be nurtured.

Inner child healing is not only a warm fuzzy concept, but it is vital. Healing trauma often digs up old wounds, so it’s important to handle yourself with care. Think about how you’d speak to a scared, sad, or confused little one. If they were exhausted, you wouldn’t tell them, “Sleep is for the weak!” (We all know that’s a motto for people who actually need sleep.) Instead, you'd encourage them to rest and recharge, acknowledging that healing is tough and takes time. This approach applies to you now, the adult version of yourself.

The Power of Saying No (Seriously, You Should Try it)

Now I’m going to hold your hands while I gently remind you: You cannot be everything to everyone. I know, revolutionary, right? Yet it is a crucial reminder we adults often need to hear. When you are balancing a job, family obligations, social life, and trauma healing, it can feel impossible to carve out time for yourself. Yet you have to do this while working on healing from trauma because, otherwise, you will burn out faster than a match in the wind.

It’s okay to not be available 24/7, especially if it means you’re healing and becoming the best version of yourself. You are a worthy investment! This means that balancing your relationship with this healing work will need to include engaging in rest and play. Yes, as adults also need rest and play too. The world won’t end, and you do not have to apologize for wanting to spend a Saturday afternoon watching your favorite show or taking a nap. Creating comfort breaks while working through distressing traumas is necessary for healing. A win is a win!

Celebrate the Tiny Triumphs

One day, they really need to invent a trauma healing journey that is linear. Unfortunately, trauma healing is not done in a straight line. Some days, you may feel like you have made progress and other days you may feel like you’ve been hit by a metaphorical truck. It’s okay if some days you feel like you’re making great strides and other days you feel stagnant. Your progress will look different each day because the variables you face in each stage of your healing and life will not be the same. Seriously, it’s okay not to have everything figured out all the time while you are healing trauma. Give yourself abundant compassion.

In fact, start celebrating your small wins. If you remembered to stay hydrated during the day, great! If you took a moment to breathe or practice speaking kindly to yourself, awesome! Healing isn’t about going from broken to all put together overnight. Things will take time and those small steps pay off and make a huge difference over time. 

Ask for Help (We All Need Help)

Now, I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, “I don’t need help. That’s cringey and embarrassing.” Spoiler alert; having support will help you heal. If you’re juggling a lot and feeling like you’re about to implode, reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness.  Asking for help is a sign of strength.

Talk to a therapist, reach out to friends, or even vent to your cat. Finding someone who can listen and help you work through your emotions is one of the best ways to support your healing from trauma as an adult. We heal better when we have support and allow ourselves to receive help. You don’t have to go it alone.

Final Thoughts

Healing from trauma as an adult in therapy is not easy, but it is possible! It’s about taking the time to care for yourself, saying no when you need to, and giving yourself credit for the small wins along the way. Remember your inner child too. Treat yourself with the same love and compassion you would give to a young one. You deserve that kind of care and relationship with yourself. Now go ahead and take the nap, say no if you’re feeling overwhelmed, and be proud of the steps you’re taking to heal your trauma!

Ashley

This post ethically created with the help of ChatGPT.