Birth Preferences & Postpartum Care: Planning for the Expected (and the Unexpected)

I’ve had many conversations that start with, “I didn’t expect it to feel like this.” Whether it’s birth, recovery, or the early days with a newborn, things rarely go exactly as planned. That’s why I often encourage the idea of preferences over plans. Because birth, like parenting, rarely follows a script—and that’s okay.

Just as important as planning for labor is making space to prepare for postpartum recovery—a time that’s often overlooked in all the prep for baby. You’re not just welcoming a baby; you’re navigating your own physical and emotional healing too. Let’s talk about how to prepare for both with flexibility, clarity, and a whole lot of self-compassion.

Birth Preferences: Communicating What Matters to You

Birth preferences allow you to explore what’s important to you during labor and delivery—while staying open to the natural unpredictability of birth. It’s not about scripting the perfect experience; it’s about making informed choices and sharing your values with your care team in a thoughtful, flexible way.

A birth preferences sheet can help you:

Communicate your values and priorities with your provider
Feel informed and empowered by exploring your options ahead of time
Equip your partner or support person to confidently advocate for you if needed

These are some common things to consider:

Pain management

Do you want to try an unmedicated birth, plan for an epidural, or keep your options open?

Support

Who do you want with you during labor and delivery?

Environment

Do you prefer dim lighting, calming music, or a quiet space?

Medical interventions

Are there any you'd like to avoid or delay unless medically necessary?

Movement and positioning

Do you have preferred positions or techniques for laboring?

Cultural or personal values

Are there any rituals, traditions, or accommodations that matter to you?

After birth

Would you like immediate skin-to-skin, delayed cord clamping, or specific feeding choices? Should the baby room-in with you?

These preferences give your team a roadmap—but remember, you are allowed to change course at any time. Flexibility doesn't mean giving up control; it means honoring both your preparation and your intuition in the moment.

Postpartum Care: The Part We Don’t Talk About Enough

So much of the focus during pregnancy is on preparing for birth—but what happens after the baby arrives often catches parents off guard. Suddenly, you're navigating sleepless nights, a healing body, and a whirlwind of emotions, often without the support or space to process it all. A postpartum care plan helps you think ahead about how to take care of you—not just the baby.

Here are a few key areas to consider as you prepare:

Practical Support

Who can step in so you can shower, nap, or just breathe for a minute?
Who can help with meals, laundry, or older siblings?
What boundaries do you want to set around visitors and hosting?
Do you have the essentials on hand—like snacks, nursing supplies, or a cozy recovery space?

Rest + Recovery

Do you have what you need for physical healing (pads, peri bottles, comfy clothes, etc.)?
Can you plan for rest breaks—even just short pauses—to care for your body and mind?
What routines or small comforts help you feel like you again?

Emotional Well-Being

Who is your person—the one you can text when you’re feeling overwhelmed or weepy?
Are you familiar with the signs of postpartum depression and anxiety?
Who will check in on you, not just the baby?
Do you have a therapist, support group, or mental health contact saved, just in case?

Connection

How will you share your needs and feelings with your partner or support person?
What helps you feel connected—to yourself, your baby, and your support system?
How can your partner feel involved and supported, too?
What kind of encouragement do you need most in this season?

Postpartum can feel tender, messy, and raw. You might not feel like yourself right away—and that’s okay. Healing takes time. Your needs matter, and caring for your mental, emotional, and physical health postpartum is just as important as caring for your baby. Asking for help is strength, not failure.

Why This Matters for Your Mental Health

Taking the time to think through your birth preferences and postpartum care reduces stress, improves communication with your support team, and creates intentional space for you, not just your baby. Too often, moms are expected to “bounce back” like nothing has changed. But your body, mind, and heart go through an enormous transformation—one that deserves to be seen, supported, and honored.

You deserve support—not just for the birth, but for the whole journey.

No medals are handed out for suffering in silence. There is no prize for pushing through exhaustion without help. What you do deserve is rest, compassion, and real support—during birth and long after.

So wherever you are in your journey, let this be your reminder:

✨ Your needs matter.

✨ You’re allowed to ask for help.

✨ You’re doing better than you think.

Maddie